We are all survivors. It is now become very important to stop and think in this fast paced life; and say I survived this. Continue reading
Life has been throwing a number of challenges my way. Past couple of weeks , this year, has been quite disturbing. Many resolutions made and broken at the same time. Even after a little soul-searching and realizing what I need to do next; life always finds a way to twist things and, suddenly, I feel like I’m back to square one. Confused and staring at the wall, I try to gain momentum of my life that seems to be passing by. But, life is too fast for me to play catch with. I need to keep moving, I need to let go of all that is weighing me down and catch up with my life and be able to live it.
What should I do?
How many of us follow our passion? Answer would be – A Few!
Could life be more demanding where you need to let go of your passion and follow the zombie trail – chasing money, doing something you don’t like, unhappy because you have no time for yourself or family.
But here’s some hope for those who think it’s “Too Late”.
- Mark – a former Financial employee, who I met at a friend’s birthday barbecue party, left his job to pursue his sports career in Squash. The sport made him very happy and is currently writing a book on how to pursue your passion.
- Shelly – a hair stylist from the United Kingdom – I met her during my visit to the salon that emloyed her. She was only 6 months old in my city. Asked her what made her get into this job. She narrated her childhood passion when her mother used to take her to the salon. She used to love the noise and buzzing from tools used in the salon. That’s when she decided she wanted to be a hair stylist. One fine day, she decided she needed to leave the comforts of her home and try another city to pursue her passion.
There are so many others I meet on a daily basis who were brave enough to let go of their monotonous and steady-income-paying jobs; just to ride the band wagon of passion and follow their dreams.
Follow your passion to be happy. It will be a struggle to find your foothold at first. The fulfillment, after that, is another level of experience.
Easier said than done! For ages, those who have been affected emotionally, it has been very difficult to let go than advising someone to let go. Ofcourse, why should we let go of it. Afterall, we’ve been extremely hurt due to whatever the situation was or by a person itself. So what happens after that, we either start seeking revenge or hide inwardly in order to not expose our vulnerability. Both consequences further lead to a pathway of more sorrow and pain. When will this stop? Do we need to find other means to distract ourselves from all this? This way we will only spread negativity.
Before we find solutions for what we can see, we need to analyse what lies within us. Have we considered what is that one element that causes us not to let go? Why do we find it difficult to let go? Is it our need, our ego, false requirements or social pressure? This isn’t pointing out that we are weak so we feel pain. No! This is about accepting pain and moving on. Pain, sorrows, unhappiness, negative emotions are all meant to be felt and later understood. That is the way of life where you feel pain just to appreciate all the good things in life. But why do we feel all good things have come to an end when we go through disappointments.
Simple! We are scared of the future. It is true that human beings fear when they cannot see ahead. It’s just like when we do not know where we are stepping in the dark. In this case, we cannot see ourselves happy in the future, if we face emotional hurt now. That is everybody’s inside story. But how we deal with this temporary emotional blindness differs from person to person. Some of us remain strong but shut off our emotions, whilst, others shatter even with the slightest touch.
In all this we completely forget ourselves, what we are, what we have accomplished and how we matter to the rest of the world. If there was plenty of self-confidence that we will be happy again, there would’ve been less time spent on grieving. We are worthy and the sooner we know our worth the easier it gets to let go. Why do we still need to determine our worth from others? Do we need others to acknowledge our existence? Why do we let our happiness be driven from others and not from within?
If we are capable of making others happy, then I’m sure, we are quite capable of creating happiness for ourselves and within ourselves. The world will always criticize what they think is a threat to them. Do not let people or situations change you for the worst. Instead take everything and make something better out of it.
Stand today in front of a mirror and see yourself from top to bottom. Remember the times you have made someone smile, the times you helped somebody through a situation, the times where you spread your love. There is no way of proving that your life isn’t worth something. Finally, smile at yourself when you realize that you are worth more than what you think. This will set you free. Let go of that thought that you cannot be happy again.
Today I did something I never imagined I would…………….
Most times, the aged old habit of writing your day in a diary was considered to be too much of a hassle or due to lack of privacy it did not catch on. But most of all, people were laughed at for keeping such a diary. I used to be one of those who laughed.
Now, 100+ posts later, I feel the best tool to vent out your thoughts and, moreover, give your thoughts a certain direction, is writing. Scribble, doodle, do as much writing you like, the end result will always be positive. Whatever emotions you have that has been buried deep inside for long and needs to be released to experience relieve, pen it. Read it and understand it.
If you think no one can understand you, then write it, read it and understand yourself what and who you truly are. In this world of distractions, it sometimes gets too easy to lose yourself. Trace yourself back when reading your earlier posts to remember what it used to be like to be you.
It is, ofcourse, difficult at the start due to the many fears you may have. But once you overcome them, writing will come so naturally. Sometimes, it isn’t about writing for others, but merely, for you to read and reminisce.
Go on then. Pen your current emotion down and see how you feel. Come back tomorrow and read what you wrote and the understanding will dawn on you.
The younger me was always distracted when in school. Mom would walk in during my day dreaming sessions. And obviously, like any childhood, I was shouted at a lot. “You better not get distracted and get back to your studying, young woman!”, my mom would say. Yes, distraction always meant negative. The moment I’m distracted, I tend to lose out on precious minutes or those pieces of information. Since then distraction was always considered negative (distraction = negative impact).
Until I met heartache!
I was torn, heartbroken, felt lonely and betrayed. All this behind that one small stroke on my face called smile. Held it all within only to realize that the walls were cracking open and that these feelings were trying to burst open to tear me apart.
Then, Eureka! I figured it out. What if I was distracted? What if I got myself busy doing things that I wouldn’t otherwise do? What if I put the quote ‘Nothing’s impossible’ to test?
I started reading;
I started studying;
I started volunteering;
I started participating in sports;
I started keeping in touch with people;
I started to write;
And finally, my favorite, I started blogging.
I distracted myself and turned a whole new leaf with my life. The change was tremendous, but it was for the better. I still look back at the dark alley that I walked out from only to see what I went through as lessons learnt. I still look into the eyes of the enemy and admit that I am no longer in their control.
Never knew that something so adverse could be useful in cancelling out something more unfavourable. It takes courage and all the strength from within to do this. For all those who feel you are alone – you are not. If you believe in yourself, then you wouldn’t need anyone else. Stay positive!
Just a passing thought, as I look back to where I used to be a year ago. It looks like I took a giant leap to come to the place I’m at right now.
Who would have thought I’d start writing a blog? No sir, I did not! I thought I’d be happy in a normal 9 to 5 job just making enough to make ends meet. But I craved for more. I needed to do something more to feel fulfilled. Like as if I’m living the purpose that I was meant to in the first place. However, I wasn’t feeling that way a year ago. Somewhere deep down I knew that I was capable to do great things. But I just didn’t know what and how. I was too distracted with emotions, situations and people in my life.
Then it dawned on me. The constant letting down made me break loose. At first, I looked for odd things to do as distraction so I could obtain that peace of mind. I didn’t want to see myself at the bottom of a sorrow pool – DEAD! I have a life – just needed to remember that I exist.
I, eventually, took up photography, painting, volunteering and blogging all at the same time. Almost! And today I run this blog, writing my experiences and thoughts, showcasing that it’s really not that bad to be hurt. In fact, it brings the best out of you . Like a diamond polished through harsh methods. We all are strong if we choose to be. But we are humans at the end of the day. We do make mistakes. I say the mind is the most powerful thing in the world. And we use only 10% of our brain.
Next time you get beat down by something, a situation or SOMEONE. Remember that you are and have always been important and better days will come around. Think of the good times you had and move on. Let this make you strive harder and expect a lot more from yourself today.
Yesterday I was emotional weak, didn’t believe in myself, lazy, hurt, negative. Today I’m strong, in full control of my life and going places.
I am competing with my yesterday-self. Are you?
So once again loved and hurt. Again put myself in a mess that I try to get out of. Is it difficult to trust someone with your heart? Is it fair for the next person in my life, who may be trustworthy, to go through a thorough investigation process. By the end of it he might just get fed up. The words ‘I’ll never leave you.’ will never mean the same again if coming from who, probably, loves you. But because of the wall that you have built due to previous bad experiences, you may not be able to see it through a peephole.
So why and how do I get into this mess? Answer is simple. Like most, I seek companion ship. Somebody to be with and don’t have to try hard to impress. Where I can be myself and still be loved. And so when I do like someone, I only dream about the good things that will come. I think of the positives of being with that person. And with this I prepare myself, how I would act or react or behave. All good!
But, I’ve ignored the BAD. I forgot to think about the situations that are negative. What would happen if a predicament arises where I need to choose between him and sticking to my standards. Will I neglect what I stand by only because I love the good times he and I have shared? Will I forego the right only because the times I’ve been happy with the little companionship that he gave me. The answer is a big, wrong YES! I’m not about to lose that because of this. Sadly, the fear within me of losing that one thing that gives me a happiness gets the better of me. Tacking the dilemma becomes difficult.
But, Lo Behold! He starts losing interest and respect for moi (French for me)! More arguments, more excuses, more ‘you don’t understand me at all’. That’s all I get to hear. Then the emotional blackmailing and then the overload on your brain thinking what happened and why it happened.
So the actual question to ask here is “Why did I allow this to take over my life?”. I’m not against love, I’m just against the idea of what love should be. And losing your identity ain’t one of them (wished I could show but I do this whole snapping the finger and swaying it forming an S in the air. LOL! Those who know me can relate).
Why forget who I am for few seconds of happiness. After these heart aches, I normally moan and say I don’t believe in love. But the actual truth is love gives hope, a sense of purpose to live for most people – Unconsciously! Give it a thought. The whole warm fuzzy feeling inside is, actually, you appreciating life.
They say, “Be yourself”. There is a reason. We change the moment we find love. We start ‘EXPECTING’. This is only because we see things around us happen and so want the same to happen to us. Do not compare and you will be happy. They also say, “Be happy with you have”. Makes any sense?
We all share the same kind of problems and issues in love life. Somehow we see other people making mistakes and do not learn from it. There is no manual on love or life that you can follow. There is no rule that you need to stick. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and experiences. Those who hurt me – Thank you! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be this strong.
Love is a feeling not a responsibility. Love has to be felt and not to be fulfilled as a duty. Continue to love as all this world needs is Love!
When all you can think of is that one individual. All you want to do is keep him happy. All you can think is being there for him even it meant strolling late in the night in my jammies. Everything I say, do, think, act and behave revolves around him. Just to see him smile I would do anything, even if it was most embarrassing thing to do. My version of love is him!
The one who understands me and my thoughts. One you can read me like a book without having to say anything (I admit its creepy at times, but it feels safe to know that only one person can do that in your life. If to many then you’re predictable!). One who appreciates everything I do for him. Even a fight seems like an episode of love. The love which our souls can share other than our physical bodies. The more he keeps my soul happy, the more I will truly love him. This is my version of his love for me.
Love is to me is soulful. True happiness lies within your soul. And that’s soul mates last forever. Look into you to find out what your soul mate looks like. And that, my friends, will guide you to loving yourself and then finding that true love. It all begins from you.
No man can live on an island alone. Hence, the fear of being alone can push you to do things to ensure you don’t ever have to be alone. It forces you to try and please people so that they will not think of leaving you. The constant effort of proving you existence so that you do not become ‘out-sight-out-of-mind’ can be exhausting.
But all that external noise can clog your thinking capability. Has it occurred that what people think is, often, pushed on you leading you to make decisions of your life based on their opinions? So where does one have the time to think for themselves when all they do is listen to others?
You need to place yourself in a quiet place for some me-time. Don’t mistake the word quiet here to anything non-noisy. It’s a fact that some of us can think in the most noisiest of places because we are accustomed to it. I love the beach, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The luminous reflection of the moon or the sun on the sea bed creating an effect of tranquility. This is where I can sit down and think for myself and go over my life’s scenes. Talk to myself or Him and stare at the sky and its heavenly bodies almost as if waiting for a reply to my question. Sometimes I wonder, whether the stars act like the eyes for the universe to witness people and their lives. Then, I get reminded that each and every element of the universe is created singularly and compliments the other. Just like a puzzle, all the elements fit together to form what we call life. Similarly, I was meant to compliment the others. And for that, each of us need to shine alone. At the end, loneliness becomes your fear if you do not accept it as part of your existence.
They say change is inevitable. But how easy is it to cope with? How can one accept any change when they just got used to some things that took so long to get used to in the first place. Is it fair to say that we must accept change? A little about me – I hate change unless it is a pleasant one like weight loss. But losing someone can be the worst. What’s extreme is when that particular someone changes. Somehow – those long drives together, the sitting on a bench beside the creek together, those midnight calls while in two separate countries, clicking and sharing pictures and voice notes, those words ‘I’ll never leave you’ and even that one burger dipped in sauce to be fed – all seem like distant memories. Memories were meant to cherish. But will cherishing them help me move on? I don’t think so.
Easy to say but hard to do, memories are to be forgotten before it turns into pain. Before any encounter turns into a fight and before any sight becomes an injury to the heart. The hardest part is to move on without that one element. But once you have passed that phase, it will get easier to breathe, easier to see beyond a certain point. They say to move forward you need to stop looking backward. But the heart always wants what it wants, what it has lost and left behind.
I guess with this experience, I can say, the heart hopes for the impossible and the mind predicts what is possible. Hence, my heart says be patient but my mind says it was a game and you’ve been played. Hence, move on before it gets tougher. Quit before you become a joke. Take care of yourself and don’t expect much. Love yourself and live the fullest. Do what you love doing and don’t underestimate yourself. Move on since life keeps on moving. The universe keeps moving. Your life keeps moving. Move On!
This holds true for most women who tend to go back to the ones who have treated them wrongly. I won’t deny, but, I may portray this image. Been in such situations where I, literally, ask the question to myself – “Why do I keep coming back for more?” And then I answer – “Oh, right! I won’t give up on hope that someday he will change.”
I understand this and it saddens me to think that this will only eat away my self-esteem and confidence. My advise is that it is ok to be hopeful, but, make sure you maintain a distance and be hopeful. The closer you get to the element the more your esteem and confidence deteriorates. A relationship that reminds you of pain and anguish is not worth your soul.
You need to be seen as a door to a good life and not as a doormat to clean shoes on. So to my fellow women folk, do not forget who you are and involve in yourself before you get involved. That way you will be confident about yourself and remind yourself the kind of woman you are every time you feel low. Be you and love you for others to love you the way you are. You will then never have to change to make someone else happy.
Since the beginning of time, planting doubts into someone’s thoughts has come so naturally to humans.
You want to do something and ask around for opinions – What do you get? Either they aren’t sure you can or they just don’t care what you do with your life. Ofcourse, there are those who encourage too. But if you think you cannot, then it’s impossible to achieve anything at all.
About a year ago, I thought I wasn’t capable enough. Had dreams but was always doubtful if I’d be able to make it possible. Believing in me was something that I could not do. There I go again! The words ‘I cannot’ is so strong that it can destroy what little faith you have in yourself. That coupled with negativity can lead you spiralling down and keep you there till as long as YOU want to.
I started reading books – enhancing positive thinking, how to’s, do it yourself, etc. I started processing the information and began planning on how to regain my confidence. Bear in mind that different techniques works differently for each person. I needed to build on positivity, mostly from within. Today I can proudly say, I’m involved with Drikshya (check out my post in September), Head of Photography Club at St. Mary’s Church, Dubai and maintaining the St. Mary’s Catholic Sports Community Facebook page – https://www.facebook.com/StMarys.SportsFest?ref=aymt_homepage_panel.
It is important to know your worth and your capabilities. That along with confidence can help achieve goals. Change ‘I cannot!’ to ‘I can!’
Today your task is to meditate on ‘I CAN’ and go out there and dream big. It is possible!
I could not have been able to put this in a better way to explain how a woman revives herself after a broken heart.
Ever felt that you have no control over a given situation in life and that you feel helpless with no clue whatsoever on how to solve a problem? Well do not fear, you aren’t alone!
Some time ago, I thought about adopting an orphan as my first child as soon as I got married. I had a vision, that if every family had the heart to do this, we could help give orphans the opportunity to enjoy a loving family and grow up to be a better person. It is not their fault that they are orphans. Sometimes it is the price they pay for their parent’s mistakes or destiny took a sharp turn. They also do not deserve to face this bitter truth of negativity from humans these days. There is hope in today’s world; we just need to work towards it.