The character Pollyanna from the Disney movie of the same name plays a positive thinking game she calls “the glad game.”
Number of Players: 2 or more
How is it played?
One person brings up a negative event, like losing a job, and starts off saying, “I’ve just lost my job and am trying not to panic.”
The other players provoke the first player to think positively by starting off a phrase, such as, “But now that I’ve lost my job, I’ll have more time to ____________________.”
The first player, then, fills in the blank with a positive word or phrase, like “take a walk every morning,” or “start the novel I’ve wanted to write.”
Aim of the Game: To search for the silver lining in even a relatively disastrous event is the optimistic basis for the “glad game.”
Try it! Share your experiences if it works well. There is no saying on the number of times you may need to play the game to feel better. But the fact that you played the game indicates that you are willing to make that choice of being happy again.
Not only will it expose you to the positive aura but also helps people understand you better.
The younger me was always distracted when in school. Mom would walk in during my day dreaming sessions. And obviously, like any childhood, I was shouted at a lot. “You better not get distracted and get back to your studying, young woman!”, my mom would say. Yes, distraction always meant negative. The moment I’m distracted, I tend to lose out on precious minutes or those pieces of information. Since then distraction was always considered negative (distraction = negative impact).
Until I met heartache!
I was torn, heartbroken, felt lonely and betrayed. All this behind that one small stroke on my face called smile. Held it all within only to realize that the walls were cracking open and that these feelings were trying to burst open to tear me apart.
Then, Eureka! I figured it out. What if I was distracted? What if I got myself busy doing things that I wouldn’t otherwise do? What if I put the quote ‘Nothing’s impossible’ to test?
I started reading;
I started studying;
I started volunteering;
I started participating in sports;
I started keeping in touch with people;
I started to write;
And finally, my favorite, I started blogging.
I distracted myself and turned a whole new leaf with my life. The change was tremendous, but it was for the better. I still look back at the dark alley that I walked out from only to see what I went through as lessons learnt. I still look into the eyes of the enemy and admit that I am no longer in their control.
Never knew that something so adverse could be useful in cancelling out something more unfavourable. It takes courage and all the strength from within to do this. For all those who feel you are alone – you are not. If you believe in yourself, then you wouldn’t need anyone else. Stay positive!
Just a passing thought, as I look back to where I used to be a year ago. It looks like I took a giant leap to come to the place I’m at right now.
Who would have thought I’d start writing a blog? No sir, I did not! I thought I’d be happy in a normal 9 to 5 job just making enough to make ends meet. But I craved for more. I needed to do something more to feel fulfilled. Like as if I’m living the purpose that I was meant to in the first place. However, I wasn’t feeling that way a year ago. Somewhere deep down I knew that I was capable to do great things. But I just didn’t know what and how. I was too distracted with emotions, situations and people in my life.
Then it dawned on me. The constant letting down made me break loose. At first, I looked for odd things to do as distraction so I could obtain that peace of mind. I didn’t want to see myself at the bottom of a sorrow pool – DEAD! I have a life – just needed to remember that I exist.
I, eventually, took up photography, painting, volunteering and blogging all at the same time. Almost! And today I run this blog, writing my experiences and thoughts, showcasing that it’s really not that bad to be hurt. In fact, it brings the best out of you . Like a diamond polished through harsh methods. We all are strong if we choose to be. But we are humans at the end of the day. We do make mistakes. I say the mind is the most powerful thing in the world. And we use only 10% of our brain.
Next time you get beat down by something, a situation or SOMEONE. Remember that you are and have always been important and better days will come around. Think of the good times you had and move on. Let this make you strive harder and expect a lot more from yourself today.
Yesterday I was emotional weak, didn’t believe in myself, lazy, hurt, negative. Today I’m strong, in full control of my life and going places.
I am competing with my yesterday-self. Are you?
So once again loved and hurt. Again put myself in a mess that I try to get out of. Is it difficult to trust someone with your heart? Is it fair for the next person in my life, who may be trustworthy, to go through a thorough investigation process. By the end of it he might just get fed up. The words ‘I’ll never leave you.’ will never mean the same again if coming from who, probably, loves you. But because of the wall that you have built due to previous bad experiences, you may not be able to see it through a peephole.
So why and how do I get into this mess? Answer is simple. Like most, I seek companion ship. Somebody to be with and don’t have to try hard to impress. Where I can be myself and still be loved. And so when I do like someone, I only dream about the good things that will come. I think of the positives of being with that person. And with this I prepare myself, how I would act or react or behave. All good!
But, I’ve ignored the BAD. I forgot to think about the situations that are negative. What would happen if a predicament arises where I need to choose between him and sticking to my standards. Will I neglect what I stand by only because I love the good times he and I have shared? Will I forego the right only because the times I’ve been happy with the little companionship that he gave me. The answer is a big, wrong YES! I’m not about to lose that because of this. Sadly, the fear within me of losing that one thing that gives me a happiness gets the better of me. Tacking the dilemma becomes difficult.
But, Lo Behold! He starts losing interest and respect for moi (French for me)! More arguments, more excuses, more ‘you don’t understand me at all’. That’s all I get to hear. Then the emotional blackmailing and then the overload on your brain thinking what happened and why it happened.
So the actual question to ask here is “Why did I allow this to take over my life?”. I’m not against love, I’m just against the idea of what love should be. And losing your identity ain’t one of them (wished I could show but I do this whole snapping the finger and swaying it forming an S in the air. LOL! Those who know me can relate).
Why forget who I am for few seconds of happiness. After these heart aches, I normally moan and say I don’t believe in love. But the actual truth is love gives hope, a sense of purpose to live for most people – Unconsciously! Give it a thought. The whole warm fuzzy feeling inside is, actually, you appreciating life.
They say, “Be yourself”. There is a reason. We change the moment we find love. We start ‘EXPECTING’. This is only because we see things around us happen and so want the same to happen to us. Do not compare and you will be happy. They also say, “Be happy with you have”. Makes any sense?
We all share the same kind of problems and issues in love life. Somehow we see other people making mistakes and do not learn from it. There is no manual on love or life that you can follow. There is no rule that you need to stick. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and experiences. Those who hurt me – Thank you! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be this strong.
Love is a feeling not a responsibility. Love has to be felt and not to be fulfilled as a duty. Continue to love as all this world needs is Love!
One action from an individual always creates several reactions from different individuals and that in turn moves on to the next set of individuals and so on. But those reactions sort of distort one’s perception of the action in such a way that if a person is negative, then that action will be sought out to be negative. Vice versa for a positive perception of the action, where a positive person will perceive that action as a positive one.
Something like Chinese Whisper! Have you ever played that game? It’s fun!
It starts like this – All players either sit or stand in a line. The first person of that line starts whispering in the ear of the person sitting beside the first person. That person, will then, whisper that same message to the next person and so on until the last person in that line receives it. The last person will then need to stand up and say the message out loud to the rest of the players. The more distorted the message, the more funnier it gets.
Similarly, every action creates a chain reaction and that action is then perceived in a way the reactor will portray. So what is the right thing to do to avoid such distortion?
Well for starters, if the reactor needs clarity on how to perceive the action, it’s best to get answers straight from the horse’s mouth. You’d better ask the person right away than to look like a fool amongst many to have understood the opposite. One wrong perception, kind of, triggers a ripple effect of the same throughout. In this day and age, where people are highly distraction by external noise, thinking the right way becomes a super power.
Information is heavily distorted on a daily basis. Would it be right to make or pass judgements that easily? I’m afraid so. So here’s a challenge to those who read this article – Try going one day in a month without passing any judgement on any action, situation or individual. Can you achieve 100% results? If yes, then try moving on to two days a month, until you have practiced the art of not judging that easily. At the end you should be able to take in more information and be patient before creating an impression.
This holds true for most women who tend to go back to the ones who have treated them wrongly. I won’t deny, but, I may portray this image. Been in such situations where I, literally, ask the question to myself – “Why do I keep coming back for more?” And then I answer – “Oh, right! I won’t give up on hope that someday he will change.”
I understand this and it saddens me to think that this will only eat away my self-esteem and confidence. My advise is that it is ok to be hopeful, but, make sure you maintain a distance and be hopeful. The closer you get to the element the more your esteem and confidence deteriorates. A relationship that reminds you of pain and anguish is not worth your soul.
You need to be seen as a door to a good life and not as a doormat to clean shoes on. So to my fellow women folk, do not forget who you are and involve in yourself before you get involved. That way you will be confident about yourself and remind yourself the kind of woman you are every time you feel low. Be you and love you for others to love you the way you are. You will then never have to change to make someone else happy.